Monday, February 21, 2011

Where I've Been, What I've done



It seems like every time I post, I'm apologizing for a break in writing. This entry will be no different. I'm SORRY for not writing more. The all-caps and bold font should indicate that I'm more sorry than in previous entries. According to the stats, I haven't posted since February 4. Much has happened since then...West Texas was shut down by snow and ice and apparently the Middle East discovered facebook and democracy all at once. So, let's talk.

Last week, I did something that I have never done before. They say that prostitution is the oldest profession. I believe that right after that job was created, guard duty was. I was lucky enough to get picked for the weekly gate guard duty. What this entails is about 8 hours of sitting at the gate staring out at this:



Now, don't be fooled by all the excitement going on in this picture. It's not as awesome as it looks. At this particular gate, NOTHING HAPPENS. However, I have no problem with that. When things start happening there, nothing good comes of it. But, to make a short story even shorter, I spent a week protecting my fellow soldiers from dangerous, malicious (and possibly retarded...I don't have a good zoom on my camera, or else there would be evidence) sheep. I will say that despite doing next to nothing for 8 hours a day, 7 days in a row, it is exhausting. There's also the reality aspect involved. There is a line out there leading up to the gate that, if crossed, will cause all hell to break loose. And for 8 hours a day, you are that guy required to unleash said hell. If you don't, then you really put a whole bunch of lives at risk. That thought alone will (or at least SHOULD) keep most awake while up there in the turret when it's 30 degrees and windy. Anyhoo...I did that for a week. I survived it, and so did all the personnel I was defending.

In other news, I can put VIP driver on my resumé. I won't say who/what/when/where, but there was about 100 years of combined officer experience in my truck the other day. Needless to say, they were very quick to tell me how amazing my driving and overall performance was. OK...That's not true. But they didn't say ANYTHING to me, so that's good.

Oh, and as the Middle East continues to get wild(er) and crazy(er -- I'm aware that this creates a spelling error, but after a couple of minutes of playing with it, I'm sticking to it.), remember us over here. And the people of these countries fighting oppression.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Home on the Range

So, since we're not doing much right now...the Arab world just seems a little fragile at this point...we're busy trying to find stuff for us to do. It's been proven many times over that unengaged soldiers spell trouble. So, recently, we took out the trucks to a range to shoot our M240B, which just so happens to be my favorite weapon system in the US Army. Now, because I am what the Army calls an Expert Rifleman (39/40 targets...The target FELT that 1 round whiz past its "ear", but didn't want to go down) I don't get a chance to shoot all that much. I guess they feel like once you master something, you just don't have to do it much at all. I have fundamental issues with that line of thought, but some people do need more...practice. Anyhoo...I got to go out and shoot the always-fun 240 off the top of my truck. Here's a fun picture from the files of "John's 'Days Off'."